The Gospel and Depression
“Christ Chargeth Me To Believe His Daylight at Midnight” — Samuel Rutherford
It’s morning again, it’s noisy again
Kick start the day with some
incremental fear and dosing anxiety
Heart beating, can’t stop it
Tries to go back to sleep but
the day and its troubles banging on the door
What is dependence?
When you feel your body no longer
responds to the sound of your own voice
Your heart’s planning an escape
from your chest
the only thing to cling to is infinite
The immutable
“Prone to wander, Lord I feel it
Prone to leave the God I love”
oops, my grip is slipping again
Can’t hold on, falling back into the deep
Again
“Verily, verily God, these legs will bury me God”
Tears are dried up
Frustration now sits where peace used to lay
But hey, duty calls
What’s left is the strength just enough
to get me off my bed
Night
Escape is here
Eyes shut, fleeting peace
Except it’s not peace but an illusion
Even my dreams laugh at the sound of my wishful thinking
They’d soon wake me up
At midnight and then at 3am
To remind me of the morning that’s near
Lord please, I’m scared
My metaphors fail me. I’m sleep
“Are you okay ? “
Yes, I’m fine
Pseudo-truth
If I tell you I’m not
then what?
How do I explain I see black
When you see colors
How do I tell you I feel blue
Even when there’s no apparent cause
I love you for caring
But please don’t get mad
if I just want to stay quiet
Pray for me
Will this cloud ever lift?
Yes, it will
Don’t fight it, don’t pray it away
What to do with the voices?
Write about them
Understand the triggers
Ask for help
Admit weakness
This is the burden, this is the weariness
Depression is real, but God is realer
Friends & Family
How can you help?
Pray with them
Worship with them
Encourage them to seek help
Professional help
Don’t try too hard to understand
Please don’t say “get over it”
It’s often inexplicable
Hugs, plenty of hugs
I wrote part of this poem about a month ago and I finally decided to finish it. If you pay close enough attention, you probably know someone that needs to read it. According to WHO, about 3000 people commit suicide every day. I don’t know the percentage of these people who are Christians but I bet there is quite a number. We work with them, we go to school with them, we may be “them”. Let’s talk more about mental health and not pretend we are all okay.
Grace and peace.
If you’re struggling with depression and/or suicidal thoughts, please seek help. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1–800–273-TALK or visit www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
